ANGELINA JOLIE & KATE HEPBURN: HONESTY & LESBIAN FLINGS ARE SEXY

It’s high time we admit to our guilty pleasure: We absolutely LOVE Angelina. What’s more sexy than telling it like it is ALL the time? Maybe taxes and death are inevitable, but when we can rely on a goth girl, now disguised as a movie star, to ALWAYS tell the truth, it’s nirvana, divine and simple.

Yes, she once loved a woman so passionately that she would never dishonor that bond by denying it.

Yes, Jolie admits to pushing the boundaries with her lovers, “both emotional and sexual. That’s when I’ve felt the sexiest. I’ve been in both submissive and dominant roles because I want more.” And who hasn’t wanted more?”

Yes, she kissed her brother James before the Academy Awards ceremony, and cooed to the world as she accepted her Oscar: “I’m so in love with my brother right now!” Immediately tabloid headlines screamed incest. Sadly, she observed: “The world is a lot sicker than I thought,” recalling how children of traumatic divorce lean on each other for emotional support.

Yes, she’s never forgiven her father for cheating on his mother and breaking up the family. Jolie remembers seeing him at the Oscars with his girlfriend as she, her mother and brother sat in front of the TV with little to eat. She doesn’t talk to her dad because she feels “families are earned.” Now that’s revolutionary!

The Lara Croft actress steadfastly maintains that she refused to be intimate with Brad Pitt until his divorce because she vowed she would NEVER sleep with a married man. “To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife,” she told NBC’s Ann Curry in 2005.

The Aniston-Pitt divorce was signed on August 19, 2005. Baby Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was born nine months later in Namibia

Now let’s look at the iconic Katherine Hepburn, revered for her strong-willed independence and for ALWAYS telling the truth, no matter what the consequence.
Well, that might have been the case early in her career when she lived openly in a lesbian liaison with Laura Harding, a Philadelphia Main Line socialite.

According to director George Cukor’s friend, the noted Hollywood historian Gavin Lambert: “George knew they were lovers. It was very clear to me that when he mentioned Laura he was talking about Hepburn’s lover, and that meant sexually.”

“She was still at that point, too different, too proud, and too uncompromising to sacrifice her freedom to the games of stardom,” observes William J. Mann in his new Hepburn biography. By 1930’s standards, Katherine Hepburn lived unconventionally for a movie star, avoiding makeup, wearing men’s trousers and daring to look androgynous.

But as stories of her arrogance and self-absorption found their way into the hearts and minds of moviegoers, they stayed away from her films in droves. She was declared box office poison.

Amid scandal and innuendo, Kate fled with Laura to Europe convinced her career was over. She made a momentous decision during this sojourn of the soul. She would sublimate her real essence in service to her Hollywood image. Like Marlene Dietrich, she spent the rest of her life securing a place for herself in the Hollywood pantheon of immortal legends, forever obliterating her true self.

Hepburn at the time had a marriage in name only to another socialite from New England. She divorced him. He was strictly a rebound after the actress’ affair with a male poet 13 years older, who was married, bisexual and an alcoholic. A decade later she would replace the bard with yet another married, bisexual alcoholic: Spencer Tracy!

Marriage, a rose covered cottage and wiping kids’ noses just wasn’t a goal for this daughter of a radical doctor who specialized in treating venereal diseases and whose mother was an early suffragette and crusader for birth control.

Her lady love got banished back to the stodgy Main Line. Laura kept a stiff upper lip as she blended back into the upper crust. Somehow the now parted lovers stayed lifelong friends!

Unlike Angelina’s indiscreet former lesbian lover, Jenny Shimizu, who continues to tell many intimate Sapphic tales out of school, Kate’s ex-girlfriend helped perpetuate the myth of the racy, romantic affair between Hepburn and Tracy. Laura Harding told folks that while the screen couple stayed at her New York apartment, they made passionate love, leaving behind broken figurines. Now that’s a REAL classy friend!

Kate Hepburn’s Hollywood agent arranged for her to be seen on the arm of that most macho man of letters, Ernest Hemingway, when she arrived back from Europe. The agent then began a calculated and contrived romance with the aristocratic actress, leaking news of an impending marriage to the press.

It was just the right saccharine to neutralize the epithet of “box office poison”.
“Honest” Kate went along with it for the sake of her future iconic screen career, despite her true feelings about the institution of marriage.

“I don’t believe in marriage, it’s bloody impractical. Perhaps men and women should live next door and just visit now and then,” the Connecticut Yankee often said.

Her mother advised: “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”

Angelina and Brad say they won’t marry until everyone (gays) in America can. So these two are conventional after all. They DO believe in marriage.

Jolie’s devotion to helping the helpless around the globe remains unassailed. The sensuous thespian gives one-third of her megamillion dollar salary to promote humanitarian causes and works tirelessly on behalf of the world’s refugees through the United Nations. She’s adopted Cambodian and Ethiopian children from bleak Third World orphanages. Even before Jolie & Brad Pitt biologically shared a child, they shared the same passion for traveling the world and offering succor to those suffering from poverty, famine and genocide.

On the other hand, Hepburn’s charitable cause was the alcoholic Spencer Tracy, a married Catholic tormented by the chasm between his church’s teachings and his concupiscent sex acts with men. The actress didn’t go on missions of mercy to Africa, but solely to film the Oscar winning film, The African Queen.

To the end of his days, Tracy believed he would be condemned to hell for his drinking, infidelity and homosexual liaisons. Movie mogul Jack Warner’s aide, the sartorial Brit
Richard Gully, told Vanity Fair in 2001 that Tracy was a “bisexual” who was “never sober”.

Today, the gold standard of screen legends, Katherine Hepburn, would be labeled “co-dependent”. She even did a mushy, revisionist PBS documentary designed to reinforce the public perception of Tracy & Hepburn as legendary lovers. One of her friends exclaimed: “She painted this romantic vision that wasn’t the way it happened.” Many friends firmly believe the couple NEVER even made love.

Honestly, the more we think about it: ANGELINA FOR PRESIDENT!!


© 2006, Sistarrs International