Thursday, June 29, 2006

BRITNEY AND THE NUNS IN HER 'HOOD


The pop tart has some mighty interesting Malibu neighbors. James Cameron, director of the blockbuster disaster movie “Titanic” lives next door, as does fabled Australian songbird
Olivia Newton-John ("I Honestly Love You").

Their richest, most powerful neighbor owns the sprawling edifice atop the highest mountain with the most breathtaking views of the blue ocean and lush, green mountains. Even Mel Gibson ("The Passion of the Christ") lives in the shadow of this powerful neighbor in a valley Tudor house.

The omnipotent neighbor is NOT a famous celebrity, but a humble order of Franciscan nuns who reign supreme at the Catholic Church's Malibu retreat.

Of late, their neighbor Britney has gotten into some scrapes with the law. Sheriff’s deputies have become regular visitors to her bejeweled mansion. Seems the Baby Madonna's mothering skills need remedial help.

We’re told the kindly nuns have taken Mother Teresa’s dictum: “I want you to be concerned about your neighbor…If you judge people, you have no time to love them,” to heart. Prayers for Britney and her family are offered regularly.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. Britney’s charity of late is legendary. The best proof is her husband, K-Fed.

After recklessly driving down Pacific Coast Highway with her unbelted baby in her lap, she immediately atoned for her sin by flying to New Orleans to minister to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Her Christian charity also extends to her stepkids. Friends report that she’s built a humongous playhouse for the tots in her backyard which could well house half the victims of Hurricane Katrina. And the influence of her nun neighbors from the Order of St. Francis goes even further. She loves animals just as St. Francis of Assisi did. Britney has a very special, loving relationship with them. Her pet pooch receives regal treatment (as does Kevin). Insiders report that his doggie bowl has the SAME rubies and diamonds as Britney’s cell phone.

There are reports that Britney is with child once again.

Ah, Mother Teresa must be smiling down on Britney. The saintly nun believed, “Love begins by taking care of the closest ones, the ones at home.”

With charity for all and malice to none…

We love you, Britney!

(c) 2006, Sistarrs International

6 comments:

_trevr said...

I love it! "It seems the Baby Madonna's mother skills need remedial help." !!! Ha! Poor Brit... or not ;-)

- = |D|R/A V/E|N| = - said...

It's not hard to believe that a 'tart' like Britney is sucha wonderful mother. {end sarcasm}

Goes to show ya that no matter how much wealth you dump into your dog dish it doesn't make you the most attentive parents in the world.

Po Po Souph!

Blissful Being said...

Nice. I feel sorry for the nuns! Britney and Kevin are one step from white trash (sorry to all you "fans" out there), but it's true. Just because they have money doesn't make em classy. God save the world, Britney is pregnant again!!!

Lumonics Light Museum said...

Mother should know.
Thanks for making me smile.

~Wyzowl~ said...

Ladies, I think you underestimate this Louisiana spitfire. There's a lot more going on under those hair-rollers than you surmise. From what I've heard, this little lady is set to bail out on California and Kevin (even though she's setting him up with his own abode...lucky dog!). She's even been consulting an OB/Gyn to arrange a C-section....and she's going back to her roots...not the dark ones...but her Louisiana family.

It's my guess that we'll see more than one birth from Britney...the new baby....and then the new re-invented Spears....even more glamorous and much more savvy than before!

Bridgette Marie said...

i'm confused by britney always wanting c-sections. it's major surgery, not the easiet thing to endure. and one source said she wants 5 or 6 kids, however i thought a person is advised to have no more than 3 c-sections, tops? guess britney wont get as many kids as she had hoped :-/.