GEORGE CLOONEY & ABRAHAM LINCOLN: THE GREAT EMANCIPATORS

What could Gorgeous George and Honest Abe possibly have in common?

A whole lot, it seems.

These two native Kentuckians are magnificent oxymorons with a shared passion for the ladies AND for saving Africans from slavery and extinction.

Through field trips to Africa and by dazzling Congress with his star power, George is hoping to save millions of Sudanese in the Darfur region from sexual slavery and genocide by the Arab militia. This superstar is more than just a pretty face.

After serving as a wartime President during the bloodiest conflict on this nation’s soil, Lincoln emerged as the most reviled and most beloved leader ever. No one ever thought that the outcome of the Civil War would lead to abolishing slavery. Lincoln courageously put forth the Emancipation Proclamation and freed millions from slavery.

This superstar didn’t rely on his good looks. Lincoln had a face that scared trick or treaters. When accused of being two-faced by a senator, the seasoned politician wisecracked: “If I was two-faced, do you think I’d wear this one?” He was THAT secure.

George and Abe laugh at themselves before anyone else can. Both were blessed with cojones, and a certain irreverence for public derision. That’s the stuff from which legends are made.

Clooney’s a guy who can bed any gorgeous girl in the universe, yet lives with a 250-lb. pig. He’s THAT secure.

Actually the pig is his longtime pet. The committed bachelor breaks the hearts of legions of bodacious babes on a daily basis.

Homely Abe was always the ladies’ man before he settled down with Mary Todd, an emotional, sensuous bipolar babe from the Southern ruling class. As the Civil War raged, President Lincoln never paid any mind to the hate-spewing constituents who called his shopaholic wife & her Kentucky family: “The Confederate spies in the White House”. He was THAT secure.

George Clooney doesn’t pussyfoot around with political correctness either. When asked the soul-defining question: “Paper or plastic?”, he replied: “Do you want the truth or the politically correct version? The truth is I go plastic, it’s so much easier. And I like to put bags over my head at night when I sleep, which I think all kids at home should try. Kidding!!” He is THAT secure.

Lincoln admired Walt Whitman, the gay poet who had a major crush on him. The Commander-in-Chief loved the virile bard’s “Leaves of Grass” and had a deep admiration for this patriot. He was THAT secure.

The former rail-splitter and prairie lawyer also had the guts to defy 19th century convention. He had passionate, hot premarital sex with Mary and then married her. He was THAT secure.

For years, he slept in the same bed with his male law partner to save expenses during their time riding the country circuit. He was THAT secure.

Lincoln and George even have the acting profession in common.

After all, it was a famous actor who shot Lincoln at Ford’s Theater. John Wilkes Booth then leapt onto the stage and hammed it up one last time, shouting: “Sic semper tyrannis!” Death to the tyrant! The audience thought this high drama was part of the performance.

John Wilkes Booth admonition: “Beware of actors. They are to be seen, not to be known,” can NEVER be true of George. Unlike the scene-stealing Booth, George Clooney is an actor who has become an artistic and political force for good in the world.

The former tobacco picker, who also sold insurance door-to-door and acted as a driver for his aunt, famed ‘50s singer Rosemary Clooney, and who holds the record for failed sitcom pilots, proudly proclaimed at the Academy Awards:

“We (Hollywood) are the ones who talked about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn’t really popular. This Academy gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I’m proud to be part of this community.”

Their Kentucky roots gave both George and Lincoln a blue-collar work ethic and empathy that lasts a lifetime. They both faced rejection and adversity and instead of growing bitter, their humanity expanded.

Both found out first hand the wisdom in the blind and deaf Helen Keller’s advice:

“Persistence spells success.”

(c)2006, Sistarrs International